Fayth and I are developing a buddy cop dramedy for television, where she'll star as a hard living private eye and I'll play her sidekick/bodyguard, a down-on-his-luck former boxer nicknamed Gaseous Clay. It'll probably be fast-tracked for the CW.

Other Milestones

Other Notable Events:

1. Fayth met, then ignored, her uncle Michael for the first time.
2. Fayth visited her dad at work, to make sure he wasn't getting any sleep there either.
3. We finally have a picture where we all look decent at the same time; Fayth is passed out, but we'll take it.4. Her mother doesn't encourage this at all, but Fayth had a pretty good laugh when she heard Obama picked Biden for VP. She and Dad had put their money on the obvious choice: Captain Planet.
5. Fayth attended her Uncle Matt's wedding to her wonderful new Aunt Allison (she was happy to see him lock that down) in Illinois, even though Uncle Matt has failed to ADD HER TO ANY OF THE LINK CATEGORIES ON AT RHOG! For shame, sir!

Alright Already Again

So it's been too long again already. It turns out that when I go to the office, I'm expected to work (and so I do); when it's the end of the day, I go home rather than blog about Fayth. I could use our dial-up connection at home, but by the time this round of pictures would load, she'd have graduated from college. Now that she's three months old, here's the list of biggest changes:

1. Has begun to eat own right hand.
2. Now weighs all of ten pounds.
3. At times, bears striking resemblance to Buddy Hackett.

That's right, Fayth looks more like Buddy Hackett than either of her parents. See for yourself.

Q.E.D., doubters.

Alright Already

Yes, it has been too long since I updated the blog. First, we had our first Father's Day together; it was a lot like most other days have been, except I didn't shave, shower or take care of myself in anyway. I'd love to tell you that Fayth was especially appreciative, but we know that's impossible. She did get me the only thing she could make herself - she baked me some brownies, if you catch my meaning. (Yes, I'm aware that I'm wearing different clothes. I did change clothes that day, from one set of pajamas into another - I'm not an animal.)

And in case you hadn't guessed, I usually don't tell Betsey what I'm posting, nor does she know how to edit these posts. As a result, sometimes things are going to be a little lowbrow around here. So please don't email her complaints about what I post; send those to me, and I'll be sure to delete them right away.

We Clearly Know Little About Babies

Betsey and I bet on Fayth's weight for Thursday's weigh-in; she took between 4 lbs and 4 lbs 2 oz, while I took the over on 4 lbs 3 oz. Neither of us was prepared for her actual weight of 4 lbs 8 oz, the size of a fish I would not be ashamed to catch, if I liked fishing. She's gaining an ounce a day and shows no signs of stopping; she should weigh about 145 pounds by the time she hits kindergarten, by our estimates.
She is awake more, especially in the late evening. Between 10:00 pm and 1:00 am, she will usually have her eyes wide open, flail her arms and kick her legs for a good half hour. Only we see this, because everyone else is asleep.
Betsey and Arlene gave her her first bath - which she hated and has refused to do again. Can't say I blame her at this point.

Finally, we have some more movies, but do I really sound like that? Ouch. We're going to have to reconsider putting those on here.

More Movies

The movies are in the Quicktime format, I think.

Also, one of these movies may contain a brief mention of possible vampirism on the baby's part. That would be impossible, although it would explain a lot. The two other clips basically show what it's like to hang around her for a few minutes, so anyone showing up with garlic cloves and stakes will be turned away (those who show up with garlic salt and steaks will be welcomed as most favored guests).

The Vicious Cycle

Things are quickly shaping up nicely for Betsey and Fayth. Betsey is able to get up and get around much better, and has even been able to change some diapers; we should soon be able to divide the 275 soiled diapers per day that Fayth produces (approximately). Changing time has become an escalating game of cat-and-mouse between father and child, and all are caught in the downward spiral: Dad waits to change her until her feeding is over, Baby adopts shotgun poop-pattern instead of rifle; Dad improves speed and efficiency, Baby eats twice as much; Dad uses a bigger washcloths, Baby masters anti-gravity technology to get poop to run up and out of back of diaper. We think it's great that Fayth doesn't cry much at all, until I realized she's saving her energy for the changing table (see how she lies in wait, blending in with the natural foliage of the nursery? She hunts the most dangerous prey of all - MAN!).


Fayth did get a good report from the doctor today, although we're waiting on the results of her jaundice test. She appeared to be less so than the day before, so it looks like she's fine in that regard as well. She doesn't like to ride in the car seat, even though it's the same model that the United States government purchases and uses in the Humvees currently patrolling Iraq.


Finally, she's nearly doubled what she takes per feeding compared with the first few days in the hospital, and she's been effective in getting us to feed her earlier than three hours on many occasions. But if you came here for the pictures with no intent of reading this post, at least take this away with you: forget corn or oil - diaper futures show a great deal of promise for the coming year. You heard it here first: diapers.

"Good News, Everyone!"

Good news indeed - both Betsey and Fayth are coming home tonight. But if you watch Futurama, you're waiting for the downside - no more overnight babysitting/feeding service. But with Arlene at home, we'll be fine. Betsey just need to rest, and we need to keep the baby fed and germ-free.
If you don't like Futurama, do you like those Mastercard commercials?

Healthy wife: Priceless
Brand-new daughter: Priceless
Preemie car seat and extra base: priceless, apparently, based on what I just experienced

The preemie baby industry is racket. Your baby is a surprise so you need it now, there's a narrow market with little selection - the problems go on and on. And now that it's happening to me, it's outrageous and predatory! Fortunately, I think we're through the expensive part and this kid will start paying for herself any day now. "But Tony," you say, "kids are expensive - that's ridiculous." And you'd be right, unless you filled out an job application for your kid at Babies R Us this afternoon while you were buying a carseat.

Video Attempt

Here's a stab at posting a video - I'm not sure if this format is good for everyone, but it's what I have right now.

Betsey pretty much all recovered from the magnesium, and clearly pretty happy about it. She has been able to get out of bed repeatedly today and to use the bathroom on her own. We were transfered to the regular maternity wing, and she's resting comfortably now. She was also able to take care of Fayth much longer tonight, which is a good sign she's getting at least some of her energy back. Her blood pressure is still high, so she'll be monitored for awhile. We were told that Fayth may be able to leave the hospital when we leave in the next day or two, so we are very pleased to hear that. The pictures below are probably the longest I've seen her have her eyes open, and it was nice to see that happen during the first time Betsey had held her in awhile.

Betsey and Fayth

Here's Betsey and Fayth Friday afternoon, after a long day for all of us. Betsey was on a magnesium drip that really took a lot out of her Friday evening and Saturday, but they have gotten a little quality time to get to know each other. It's probably the happiest the both of them have been the entire time so far, and I'm sure Fayth will be relieved to not be fed by what appears to her new eyes to be some sort of shaved gorilla. Wait until she finds out that's her dad, and that she's got his hair (for now).

I blame Benjamin Linus

Throughout the pregnancy, Fayth has moved whenever Benjamin Linus, a villain on Lost, appeared on the television (I am not making this up). Since the problems started about 4 hours after we watched this season's penultimate episode and the preview for the finale, I'm pretty sure that Fayth wanted to watch it with us. As you can see here, she is pretty angry - it was either that we just changed her diaper or that she suspects that Ben is the one who had the explosives placed on the boat that the castaways intend to escape on. I suspect it's the latter, and that she dislikes Jack as much as I do. Good girl!

The first sight my mom had as she rounded the corner, which was much better than the way I had left things over the phone before the surgery. Faith weighed 4 lbs 2 oz, and was 17.5 inches long. Yes, she has very long fingers, but before you say that we should get a piano like everyone else has, ask yourself, am I prepared to help Tony move this piano? If not, get her a flute or something.

First Pictures

These are some of the first pictures taken of Fayth, when she was brought to me after the surgery. Prior to this point, Betsey had woken me up around 3:00 a.m. after she had called our doctor about some severe pain she had. We drove to the hospital around 3:30-4:00, and they drew blood for testing and monitored her vitals. Betsey slept a little (she had only slept about 2 hours that night), and I even dozed off myself. Around 6:00, our doctor returned with the resident who had seen us up until that point to tell us that Betsey was pre-ecclampsic and that we needed to "talk about how we were going to deliver this baby." I thought he meant maybe on Friday or Saturday; he actually meant that someone else had scheduled a 7:00 a.m. c-section that was going to be pushed back to do ours immediately. Betsey took it better than I did, she was sort of dumbfounded ("We haven't even put the crib together yet!"), while I went out and called both our parents without really knowing what to say. I waited alone in my scrubs for about an hour as they prepped her for the surgery. When they brought me into the operating room, I sat by her head behind a screen that blocked the view from her shoulders down. The anesthesiologist tried upped the dose of the epidural several times but it wasn't really working on Betsey, so I was whisked out of the room and they put her all the way under for the surgery. My pastor, Earl Smith, had come to the hospital at that point, and it was a relief to have someone else to talk to rather than wait alone. After a little while, I was brought to a recovery room to wait. Earl had brought his camera, so I took that with me (we thought we were going to be sent home with something to deal with gas and didn't bring a camera) and the nurse was good enough to take a few pictures.
I didn't realize it until I saw the pictures, but my fresh haircut made me look like the son of Prince Valiant and Moe from the Three Stooges; everyone hopes Fayth takes after her mother.

May 18, 2008

This blog will be used to post pictures of our new family in one place. I'll post updates about how both are doing as well, as often as I can.