Fayth and I are developing a buddy cop dramedy for television, where she'll star as a hard living private eye and I'll play her sidekick/bodyguard, a down-on-his-luck former boxer nicknamed Gaseous Clay. It'll probably be fast-tracked for the CW.

Other Milestones

Other Notable Events:

1. Fayth met, then ignored, her uncle Michael for the first time.
2. Fayth visited her dad at work, to make sure he wasn't getting any sleep there either.
3. We finally have a picture where we all look decent at the same time; Fayth is passed out, but we'll take it.4. Her mother doesn't encourage this at all, but Fayth had a pretty good laugh when she heard Obama picked Biden for VP. She and Dad had put their money on the obvious choice: Captain Planet.
5. Fayth attended her Uncle Matt's wedding to her wonderful new Aunt Allison (she was happy to see him lock that down) in Illinois, even though Uncle Matt has failed to ADD HER TO ANY OF THE LINK CATEGORIES ON AT RHOG! For shame, sir!

Alright Already Again

So it's been too long again already. It turns out that when I go to the office, I'm expected to work (and so I do); when it's the end of the day, I go home rather than blog about Fayth. I could use our dial-up connection at home, but by the time this round of pictures would load, she'd have graduated from college. Now that she's three months old, here's the list of biggest changes:

1. Has begun to eat own right hand.
2. Now weighs all of ten pounds.
3. At times, bears striking resemblance to Buddy Hackett.

That's right, Fayth looks more like Buddy Hackett than either of her parents. See for yourself.

Q.E.D., doubters.

Alright Already

Yes, it has been too long since I updated the blog. First, we had our first Father's Day together; it was a lot like most other days have been, except I didn't shave, shower or take care of myself in anyway. I'd love to tell you that Fayth was especially appreciative, but we know that's impossible. She did get me the only thing she could make herself - she baked me some brownies, if you catch my meaning. (Yes, I'm aware that I'm wearing different clothes. I did change clothes that day, from one set of pajamas into another - I'm not an animal.)

And in case you hadn't guessed, I usually don't tell Betsey what I'm posting, nor does she know how to edit these posts. As a result, sometimes things are going to be a little lowbrow around here. So please don't email her complaints about what I post; send those to me, and I'll be sure to delete them right away.

We Clearly Know Little About Babies

Betsey and I bet on Fayth's weight for Thursday's weigh-in; she took between 4 lbs and 4 lbs 2 oz, while I took the over on 4 lbs 3 oz. Neither of us was prepared for her actual weight of 4 lbs 8 oz, the size of a fish I would not be ashamed to catch, if I liked fishing. She's gaining an ounce a day and shows no signs of stopping; she should weigh about 145 pounds by the time she hits kindergarten, by our estimates.
She is awake more, especially in the late evening. Between 10:00 pm and 1:00 am, she will usually have her eyes wide open, flail her arms and kick her legs for a good half hour. Only we see this, because everyone else is asleep.
Betsey and Arlene gave her her first bath - which she hated and has refused to do again. Can't say I blame her at this point.

Finally, we have some more movies, but do I really sound like that? Ouch. We're going to have to reconsider putting those on here.

More Movies

The movies are in the Quicktime format, I think.

Also, one of these movies may contain a brief mention of possible vampirism on the baby's part. That would be impossible, although it would explain a lot. The two other clips basically show what it's like to hang around her for a few minutes, so anyone showing up with garlic cloves and stakes will be turned away (those who show up with garlic salt and steaks will be welcomed as most favored guests).

The Vicious Cycle

Things are quickly shaping up nicely for Betsey and Fayth. Betsey is able to get up and get around much better, and has even been able to change some diapers; we should soon be able to divide the 275 soiled diapers per day that Fayth produces (approximately). Changing time has become an escalating game of cat-and-mouse between father and child, and all are caught in the downward spiral: Dad waits to change her until her feeding is over, Baby adopts shotgun poop-pattern instead of rifle; Dad improves speed and efficiency, Baby eats twice as much; Dad uses a bigger washcloths, Baby masters anti-gravity technology to get poop to run up and out of back of diaper. We think it's great that Fayth doesn't cry much at all, until I realized she's saving her energy for the changing table (see how she lies in wait, blending in with the natural foliage of the nursery? She hunts the most dangerous prey of all - MAN!).


Fayth did get a good report from the doctor today, although we're waiting on the results of her jaundice test. She appeared to be less so than the day before, so it looks like she's fine in that regard as well. She doesn't like to ride in the car seat, even though it's the same model that the United States government purchases and uses in the Humvees currently patrolling Iraq.


Finally, she's nearly doubled what she takes per feeding compared with the first few days in the hospital, and she's been effective in getting us to feed her earlier than three hours on many occasions. But if you came here for the pictures with no intent of reading this post, at least take this away with you: forget corn or oil - diaper futures show a great deal of promise for the coming year. You heard it here first: diapers.